Questions for Senior Citizens

I have received great feedback on my posts outlining the developmental tasks for those over 50. We seniors are too often treated in similar ways as children in our culture. The needs for inclusion, contribution and meaning do not go away with age.

There are those who advise against retirement because of this. Most Baby Boomers lack the kind of funds to spend large amounts of money on travel, having multiple vacation homes, etc.. So, we usually have to find ways to transition to meaningful lives in our own communities or in new communities where we know few people. The last two developmental stages of our lives are usually about integrity, accepting our mortality, and leaving a legacy. Here are questions I have designed for my older clients. I hope they might be helpful for some of my followers here.

  1. What things have you liked doing before? Can we find a way to do them again or try something new that's similar?

  2. Are there any cool things you wanted to learn or do but didn't have time? Maybe now's a good time to try them!

  3. What are some things you're really good at? How can we use those strengths to make your life more fun?

  4. Are there clubs or groups in your town that you might like? Joining can help you meet new friends and use your skills to help others.

  5. What has stopped you from doing fun things before? Let's work together to find ways around those problems.

  6. What would make your life really great? Let's think of small steps we can take to make it happen.

  7. Do you have friends or family who could help you find new things to do? They might have great ideas too!

  8. Are there any free or cheap classes or workshops you can take to learn something new and interesting?

  9. How can we add more exercise to your daily routine? Moving around more can help you feel better and more focused.

  10. Can you think of a part-time or work-from-home job that you might like? It could help you earn extra money while doing something fun.

  11. What is one thing you want to do in the next month? Let's make a plan to help you achieve it.

  12. How can we check your progress and change your plan if needed, to make sure you're moving towards a great life?

  13. What things are most important to you right now? How can we use those values to help you find new activities and goals?

  14. Are there any causes you really care about? You could use your time and skills to help make the world a better place.

  15. What do you want to be remembered for when you're not here anymore? Let's think of ways to leave something special for others.

  16. Are there any creative things like writing, drawing, or playing music that you'd like to try? This can be a fun way to share your values and leave something special behind.

  17. How can your dream of leaving something great behind help you make short-term and long-term goals? We can make a plan to make sure you're doing things that fit with your dreams.

  18. Are there any people who have done amazing things that you admire? What can you learn from their stories to help you on your own path?

By asking these questions, we can make a plan that's just right for you. Your values, dreams, and ideas about leaving a special mark on the world will help us create a fun and interesting life together.

NLP Logical Level Model

One of the models I use frequently in my coaching work is Logical Levels. Using this model as a reference helps myself and clients clarify where they are in a change process and make better decisions about the kind of strategies that will bring about optimal change.

In NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), the concept of logical levels refers to a model that helps to understand the different layers of human experience and how they are related. This model is derived from the work of Gregory Bateson, an anthropologist and systems thinker, and was further developed by Robert Dilts, a pioneer in the field of NLP.

The logical levels model consists of six distinct layers, organized hierarchically:

Environment: The physical and social context in which we live and work. It refers to external factors such as the people, places, and resources around us that influence our behavior and experiences.

Behavior: The specific actions and reactions that we perform in response to our environment. This includes our habits, routines, and skills in various situations.

Capabilities: Our abilities and strategies that enable us to perform various behaviors. These are the skills, talents, and competencies we possess and develop to help us achieve specific goals or tasks.

Beliefs and Values: The underlying principles and convictions that drive our behaviors and capabilities. Our beliefs are the assumptions we hold about ourselves, others, and the world. Values are the guiding principles determining what is essential and worthwhile.

Identity: Our sense of self or who we believe we are. Identity includes our self-concept, self-esteem, and our roles in different aspects of our lives (e.g., parent, professional, friend).

Purpose/Spirituality: The highest level that relates to our sense of purpose, mission, or connection to something greater than ourselves. This level encompasses our beliefs about the meaning of life, our purpose in the world, and our relationship to a higher power or the universe.

The logical levels model is helpful in NLP for understanding the various aspects of human experience and facilitating change. By identifying the level at which a particular issue or problem exists, NLP practitioners can design interventions that target the appropriate level, leading to more effective and lasting change.

The Aligned Self

One of the favorite models I have trained in and currently use with my clients is The Aligned Self, developed and trained by Connirae and Tamara Andreas.

The Model presents a comprehensive framework for achieving personal alignment and success. It is divided into four parts, each of which focuses on a different aspect of the model.

Part One: Defining Success

In this part, we define what it means to be successful and introduce the idea of personal alignment. We begin to set clear and compelling outcomes and discuss the role of identity and belief in achieving success.

Part Two: Aligning Your Identity

Then we focus on the identity strategy of the model. We discuss the power of identity in shaping behavior and outcomes and provide practical exercises for aligning one's identity with their desired outcomes.

Part Three: Aligning Your Beliefs

In this work, we explore the role of belief in shaping behavior and outcomes. We use a range of techniques for identifying and modifying limiting beliefs that may be hindering progress towards one's desired outcomes.

Part Four: Aligning Your Strategies

Then, we focus on providing practical guidance for developing effective strategies and taking action towards achieving one's desired outcomes.

Overall, "The Aligned Self" presents a comprehensive framework for achieving personal alignment and success. It emphasizes the importance of setting clear outcomes, aligning one's identity and beliefs with those outcomes, and taking consistent action towards achieving them. We use practical exercises and techniques for implementing each aspect of the model, making it a valuable resource for clients seeking to create positive change in their life

Things are So Different

I have spent all of my adult life being a counselor, then a coach and consultant In total, I have served others in one of these capacities for over 50 years. So, since early 1973 I have had a role of doing what I can to help others thrive, improve their lives, and/or solve problems.

As I am still reeling from the last episode of shooting up a school, I realize how much more difficult my work has become. It isn’t that my clients have changed that much. They are still individuals wanting to improve their lives, or organizations that want help in being more effective with their clients, employees or customers. What has drastically changed is cultural context. It isn’t like our United States culture has every really provided great support for its citizens to thrive. Perhaps the last time that happened was post WWII with all the college help for many. Helping clients thrive has always been something that happened in a society that was largely neutral to the plight of its individual members.

Now, our culture has been largely destroyed. Much of this has been purposeful for both financial power for the wealthy and political power for politicians and those with political agendas.

That means my clients come to me, not only with what they would like to achieve in their lives, but fighting a sense of powerlessness that has been enhanced by current cultural dynamics. For one, since wages have been flat for workers for over 50 years, it is difficult to envision a thriving future where working for someone else will be both secure and provide increased income to address your needs.

Workplace culture has also become more toxic, with frequent rude behavior and over 70% of workers at least witnessing workplace bullying. There is pressure to do more with less, and very poor leadership in many organizations. The ethics of corporations have also, in my observations, became non-existent.

While unemployment is currently low, there are few occupations that really offer an ability, especially for younger, beginning workers. ‘

As a result, coaching now usually starts with getting to just okay, helping someone get stable and secure first. Then touching base later with helping them move towards thriving.

Between the divisive leadership of the country, and their success creating division and the wealth inequality and policies undermining the working classes, we have many factors that lead to coaching often being more of an uphill battle.

Having said all this, Coaching has also become commensurately more valuable. Clients come to me now with much more frequent feelings of being stuck and confused about how to navigate the world.

It shouldn’t be more difficult to thrive in the world’s richest country, but, for many, it is. The idea that people can figure things out and make it on their own is less and less feasible I will continue to help. I will also feel free to complain from time to time.

Generative Coaching

I like to help people thrive. If I had my way, we would all have positive, connected lives with great meaning, joy and purpose. I know a few people who achieve this, and I believe it has become more challenging over the years, at least in the United States. Thriving requires both a strong connection to something greater than ourselves, and a strong sense of self and personal purpose. There is very little in U.S. Culture that provides a map or path to creating a Thriving life. One tool is Generative Coaching.

Generative Coaching focuses on creating the life you may not even know you want yet. It is not just understanding what you need and want, but understanding your beliefs, values and purpose underlying these. It is about being sure that you are pursuing the goals, paths and strategies that give your life deep meaning while achieving the most important things for you.

Generative Coaching can help you dive beneath culturally scripted stories, goals and strategies and help you understand what stories, goals and strategies are best for you.

I chose this approach several years when I first began to intuit, then had illustrated to me, the limitations of the problem-solution framework. If you go to a coach, or therapist to solve a problem, and you succeed, you will be the same person, on the same life path with one less problem. Or, you might have an unsolvable problem, that you develop new strategies to make the problem less severe. These are useful outcomes, and every Coach does some of this work, including me.

I prefer to do a more global approach, and to see that problems are often side-effects of broader life strategies. I like to work on being emotionally balanced, spiritually awake, creating inner peace, and getting rid of problems that lacking those traits causes. In short, I want to help my clients Generate meaningful, balanced, thriving lives.

This kind of work is complicated, and may happen in phases. It includes health habits, skills of relating, and analyzing values, beliefs and purpose. If this sounds like it might be something you want, let me know.

Integrity Versus Despair

I have had quite a few conversations in the past few months with people over fifty who talk about struggling with depression, reviewing their lives, and doing some rethinking of many of their beliefs.

As I was thinking of it this morning, I realized that, while the study of human development is a bit over a century old, people who haven't studied psychology are unlikely to know about it. So, us older folks are unlikely to realize that we are experiencing normal developmental processes when we ponder these things. Erik Erikson, a prominent developmental researcher proposed that we go through 8 major developmental stages in life. His final stage, he described as Integrity vs. despair.

This final stage of human development, integrity vs. despair, occurs during late adulthood. This stage involves reflecting on one's life experiences and coming to terms with the choices made, successes achieved, and disappointments faced.

People who successfully navigate this stage develop a sense of integrity and acceptance of their life experiences, while those who struggle with this stage may experience despair and regret.

One example of integrity in this stage is the individual who looks back on their life with a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment, achieving their goals and making meaningful contributions to society.

They are able to accept their life experiences, both positive and negative, and feel a sense of coherence and meaning in their life story. They may also feel a sense of generativity, wanting to pass on their wisdom and experience to future generations.

On the other hand, an example of despair in this stage is the individual who looks back on their life with regret and disappointment, feeling that they have not accomplished what they wanted or lived up to their potential. They may feel a sense of despair or hopelessness, realizing that it is too late to change their life's course.

They may also experience feelings of bitterness or resentment, blaming others for their failures or feeling that life has been unfair to them.

Overall, the integrity vs. despair stage of development highlights the importance of reflecting on one's life experiences and accepting the choices and events that have shaped one's life.

As we go through this process, we Through this process, we can achieve a sense of acceptance, meaning, and fulfilment. In fact, that is the task, to overcome our mortality, accept ourselves both historically now and moving forward and achieve peace with the final stage of life.

Understanding Your Motivational Direction

Understanding Your Motivational Direction

 

How well do you understand your own motivational strategies?  Do you tend to move towards achievement or away from problems?  This is Motivation Direction.

 

Are you someone who clearly sees something you want to achieve and gets motivated?

 

Or are you someone who tends to scan for possible issues, and then becomes motivated about solving them?

 

Or, are you somewhere in the middle, someone who finds motivation in both moving towards achievement and away from issues? 

 

Tony Robbins has been fond of saying that we are either motivated towards pleasure or away from pain.  The research indicates this is a bit too simplified.

 

Most of the research in Motivational Direction has been in the workplace, but we all have consistent patterns in other contexts. In the workplace, according to research by Rodger Bailey,  there is an interesting distribution of these patterns.

 

Distribution Percentage in the Workplace

 

Mainly Towards

 

40%

 

Equally Towards and Away From

 

20%

 

Mainly Away From

 

40%

 

Understanding your own Motivational Direction can help you increase your motivation.  You can either think about all the positive results you can have, all the problems you can avoid, or a mixture of both.

 

Understanding others' Direction can help you understand how they work. It can increase your ability to help others become more motivated. You can reduce your frustration with those whose Motivational Directions are different from yours.  Towards people can become very frustrated with Away From people and vice versa.  Each style has both strengths and challenges. As it is largely unconscious, it is important that we learn to be patient with others who are different.

 

Each style has different strengths and challenges.  Towards people can often overlook potential problems.  They can overlook details in pursuit of a goal.  Away From people aren’t easily motivated by goal-oriented language. When there are no problems, their motivation can lag.

 

Do you want to become more motivated, or want to have a more successful team in the workplace? If so, contact me to discuss what we can do together.

https://rayhoskinscoachingandconsulting.as.me/

Identifying and Changing Patterns

The best coaching approaches are about finding and expressing purpose, creating the life you want, and living meaningful lives. While practical problem solution coaching also happens, it tends to be tied to longer-term approaches to meaning in life.

You see, problems are often side effects of our internal stories, our trying to live from the outside in, and limiting beliefs and relationships. They also result from being dependent on systems that devalue us, underpay us, and oppress us.

Life is complex. It is often difficult. Coaching can help us navigate the complexities and identify and walk away from things that undermine our well-being. It can help us create new directions and results.

About Work and Living

The "Great Resignation" has shaken up the way our economy is working. Given this, it is useful to think of the ways we in the United States have described work. Specifically, how we have described work and its relationship to the rest of our lives.

In most G20 countries, there are constraints on the ability for work to dominate our lives. They have required vacation days, family time off, universal health and other benefits. Their cultures do not encourage work to be the central focus for their citizens. We have none of these constraints.

One of the best terms which shows the difference is the idea of Work/Life Balance. This term indicates that work and our lives are separate and in competition. The implication is that work should come first. It isn’t Life/Work Balance. Work comes first in the equation.

This gives employers an advantage in power. Employers frequently gaslight employees when they advocate for their needs over the employers.

In reality, work is part of our life. Our lives are a larger whole and work is only part of it. Work can provide for several psychological needs, such as a sense of accomplishment, or of pride. Work can create a feeling of belonging to a group or something greater than ourselves.

At its’ base value, work provides money. Money provides fuel for the rest of our lives. We get money through working for others, self-employment, investments, inheritance and other means.

When we allow our employment to be framed in competition with our Life, it is easy to become confused. If we accept that frame, we can stay in organizations that don’t produce enough money to fuel the rest of our lives. We will often be afraid of changing. People can feel threatened over putting life and family first.

I see the Great Resignation as an overdue reaction. In the last century, we created some very unhealthy cultural patterns about work. Being a “corporate person” was a valued goal. It was a path to success. Corporations started moving jobs overseas, destroying unions, and creating record profits. All this while holding wages static. The imbalance became more toxic. Many corporate jobs, do not fuel the rest of our needs.

In my work with clients, I encourage them to commit to their lives. I encourage them to consider whether they are able to fuel the lives they want with the work they do. I also encourage them to consider long-term negative side effects on their health. We work to put work in its proper context for their goals. We work to create means of financially fueling their lives that make it possible for them to thrive.

Operating Like a Business, Versus Using Good Business Principles

I have worked in and around nonprofit organizations for over 40 years. During this time I have learned that Boards of Directors and leadership of nonprofit organizations have many challenges, and keeping even the best nonprofits going is becoming more and more challenging. I have watched some very small nonprofits grow into excellent, stable programs, only to be destroyed from within by Boards who made naive decisions which eventually destroyed their organizations.

One of the most damaging things I have seen is a Board of Directors deciding their organization needs to operate more like a for profit business. This is a tempting thing for nonprofit Board members to do, because many of them come from corporate backgrounds and cultures, and their skill sets were developed and honed in those cultures If they can transform the nonprofit they serve into being more like the businesses they know, they can operate more comfortably, and under the delusion that they can do a good job without doing the very difficult job of learning about the clients they serve and about the stakeholders who fund them. Unfortunately, this isn’t usually good for nonprofits or their customers.

So, what happens when a Board gets obsessed with the idea that a NonProfit should operate like a business? There are generally two patterns of failure. The first type of failure is that nonprofits become so focused on the bottom line that they lose focus on their customers, lose their best staff, destroy their reputation and end up either being broken up, or shutting the doors. So they fail formally, and everyone knows it. This is actually the best outcome for a nonprofit that lost it’s purpose. Communities shouldn’t be asked to support nonprofits who offer little or no value to their customers.

The second type of failure is that they succeed in becoming a business, but fail in being a good nonprofit. A good nonprofit either has a time of financial challenge, or the Board or other leadership responds to gloom and doom prognostications and the decision is made to become more like a business. They then hire a CEO with a business only background, begin to focus on acquisitions, marketing, fund development, reducing costs, and public relations. All the time this is happening, they actual quality of the service delivery atrophies, and the people who care about the clients and worked at the agency because of the impact it made begin to feel disconnected, and either stay and burn out, or leave, taking their talents to the competition.

What remains after a few years is an organization that may be respected by those who donate money, and may even be considered an excellent organization by the community at large, but offers marginal to very poor quality of services. This happens because those who know no better tend to judge nonprofits by the same growth standards they judge businesses, rather than by the impact an organization actually makes.

If the story is good, and the damage control team skilled, a nonprofit can go on for years skimming the money that people donate intending to help people, while offering little value. These nonprofits usually look very corporate, have CEOs with exorbitant salaries, and have very high turnover rates. They also make claims like “we have a 100% high school graduation rate among our teens” without disclosing that teens can’t be in the programs unless they stay in high school and graduate. In short, they do the same type of spin doctoring and misleading as most for profit corporations.

The major problem with the idea of nonprofits becoming like a business is that for profit businesses and nonprofit organizations have different goals, and when you have different goals, you must have different strategies to achieve those goals. Simple. When we want to go to California from Illinois, we don’t head East. When we want to serve people as a primary purpose, we don’t model ourselves after GE.

A for profit business, for better and worse, has the primary goal of making money for those who own the business. The business might operate in very ethical, well-managed ways, but it’s goal is to generate income and distribute that income to those at the top. So income goes upward to the Board or other owners.

A nonprofit has the primary goal of raising money to maintain an organization that invests, in various ways, in those who need its services. In this situation, income should flow downward from the Board. A nonprofit should have a Mission, Vision, and Values which communicate the impact it is trying to make, and the dollars should be invested in bringing the Mission and Vision to fruition.

Therefore, when a nonprofit begins to operate like a for profit business, overhead usually increases to management, development and public relations functions, and investment in service delivery is reduced. The organization begins to talk, walk, and act like a corporation, and one of the two scenarios I described earlier often happens.

Having said all this, nonprofits need to implement good fiscal practices. They need money in savings, and perhaps even their own endowments to weather hard times. They need to hire qualified people who know their area of service to lead the organization, and they need to pay them fairly. They need accountants, but usually not as CEOs. They need Lawyers, but usually not as CEOs. They need marketing and public relations functions. However, these functions need to have different strategies than the same functions in for profits. These departments need to be focuses on creating and maintaining an excellent organization that raises money and distributes that money, through services, supports, and sometime actual dollars to the people the organization serves.

Most importantly, nonprofits need to consistently provide excellent services that benefit their customers and make a positive impact on their communities. They need clear Missions, Visions, Values, Goals, and Strategies for making these impacts. They need excellent well-trained stable staff who are committed to these.They need strong evaluation and research functions, if not on staff, then through collaborations with Universities, having researchers on the Board or other means. They need to offer great service, know they offer great service, and be able to prove they offer great service. When all these things happen nonprofits usually get better and offer value to the community.

Unfortunately, when the organization becomes too distracted by attempting to be like GE, it has been my observation that the actual quality of service usually decreases over time and all of the components of excellent service suffer and then fall by the wayside in pursuit of the wrong goal.

Leadership Assessment and Advising

Ray Hoskins and Assessments is now a Channel Partner with The Lions Lead.  Through this partnership, we offer a wide range of competency-based assessments that help organizations and individuals assess leadership competencies.  The assessments are paired with our Leadership Advising Services to help individual leaders and leadership teams improve their performance.

  • Do you have a clear awareness of your leadership strengths and challenges?

  • If not in a leadership/management position now, do you want to be?

  • If you are currently an organizational leader are you achieving the results you want?

  • Is leading stressful for you?

  • Do you aspire to be a great leader?

Contact Us to begin improving your individual and/or team leadership competencies.

So You Got That Promotion, Now What?

Some of us really want to be leaders. We work hard in our positions, hoping to be noticed as stellar performers in our area of work so we can be promoted. When the opportunity comes, we apply for that management job, secure in our knowledge of our area of work, and we get hired.
For many of us, it doesn’t take long to realize that expertise in our previous position, while useful isn’t enough. Being a good doer, can actually be a handicap in becoming a good leader and manager. What are your options:
1. Put our heads down and “fake it till we make it”. Perhaps we watch our own manager (who may not be the greatest) hoping to learn by osmosis what we need to do.
2. Begin to study, read leadership books, watch TED talks, perhaps even take a course or two on leadership and management.
3. Be systematic in our strategy. Working with Ray Hoskins and Associates, you
⁃ Assess your existing strengths and challenges using a competency-based assessment.
⁃ Assess priorities for immediate change.
⁃ Develop a leadership development plan.
⁃ Work with an experienced Leadership Advisor to help you make best use while developing and following a plan to become the leader you want to be.

Ray Hoskins and Associates can help new and existing leaders become stronger and succeed in their leadership positions.  Contact Us

Self-Awareness-Where Leading Begins

There are many cultural expressions of the importance of Self-Awareness. Statements such as Know Thyself and To Thine Own Self Be True have been around for centuries. Most of us have been exposed to the idea that we need to understand ourselves in order to have a better life. This idea forms the bedrock of most forms of counseling psychology and other personal change approaches.

What might not be as clear to most of us is how important self-awareness is in leading others. In fact, the research shows that an accurate knowledge and understanding of oneself is the most important skill of leadership.

Self-awareness is just what it sounds like—the ability to know oneself, to be aware of one’s own strengths and areas for improvement. Leaders and managers who have strong self-awareness understand their goals, values, beliefs, feelings, strengths, and limitations. They are able to use this information to guide decision-making.

When people lack self-awareness, they are unable to express the clear vision necessary to lead. If one’s self-perception differs greatly from the perception of others around them, it leads to feeling like others don’t understand them.

Also, when someone has poor self-awareness, others may see the resulting confusion acted out in the leadership setting. Poor self-understanding also leads to inconsistent behavior which confuses those we lead.

Take a moment and ask yourself, how well do you:
• Understand your personal abilities and competencies
• Understand what affects your performance
• Know your values, goals and beliefs and use them well to guide your decisions and actions
• Take time to think about important issues quietly and alone
• Strike a balance between self-criticism and hopefulness?

These are some of the attributes of leadership included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates use this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively. It does all begin with knowing yourself.

Contact Us to learn more about our Assessment and Leadership Advising Services. Visit our site at rayhoskins.net to see more posts about leadership and our other areas of interest.


Managing Your Emotions-Another Critical Leadership Competency

While Self Awareness is the most important competency for leaders, Managing Emotions is a close second. Many of us have worked in situations where one or more of the key leaders were poor at managing emotions. This is most often thought of as simply controlling anger. Yet, controlling fear, anxiety and other disruptive emotions can be equally important. Uncontrolled anger can lead to a very unhealthy culture. Anxiety and fear of failure can paralyze leaders who need to make critical decisions.

Dr. Dan Snively, in his Leader/Manager Assessment,  states: “Managing emotions refers to the ability to understand one’s own thoughts and feelings and how they affect the person and everyone around them. Leaders and managers who are able to effectively manage their emotions are able to understand how feelings affect behavior. They are able to behave or act appropriately in response to their feelings.” This definition isn’t about just controlling emotions. It is instead about the appropriate and effective use of emotions in leadership.

Being able to choose how to show up in every circumstance is very important to a leader’s effectiveness. Excellent leaders who manage their emotions are stable, predictable, and trusted. Leaders and managers who mismanage their emotions sabotage themselves and their environments. Without self-awareness and self-management most other personal and leadership attributes lose effectiveness.

So let’s take a moment and consider:

  • How well do you understand your moods and emotions and their effect on your behavior?

  • How well do you balance your positive emotions and control your reactions in a leadership situation?

  • How well do you identify personal irritations to yourself and select appropriate responses?

  • How well do you Balance private and public pressures and challenges?

  • How able are you to think clearly and stays composed under pressure?

These are key behaviors involved in managing emotions. As you master skills in these areas, you can expect to be more effective in leadership situations.

These are some of the attributes of leadership included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates use this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively. It does all begin with knowing yourself.

Contact Us to learn more about our Assessment and Leadership Advising Services. Visit our site at rayhoskins.net to see more posts about leadership and our other areas of interest.

Rational Leadership

My last two articles were about Self-Awareness and Managing emotions. These are both critical attributes of strong leaders. This article address Rationality, another critical attribute. Rationality is a very important attribute for those who lead.

Rationality is how well someone analyzes situations, processes information, and their emotions. Rationality allows us to make logical and thoughtful decisions.

Of course, if one is to show rationality, he/she must also have self-awareness and be able to identify and manage emotions.

Why is it important? Leaders and managers need to process information thoughtfully, reflectively, and logically. This includes processing and understanding their own emotions and the emotions of others. Leaders need to recognize that emotions are an important source of information. Leaders who lack rationality sabotage their own goals. They also sabotage the mission and vision of their organizations.

Poor rationality leads to a deterioration in team performance. it also creates increased turnover and poor morale. Many of us have experienced this firsthand.

Someone with strong Rationality:

  • Gathers all the necessary facts to make well thought out decisions.

  • Tests their ideas and viewpoints for consistency.

  • Considers that the full range of options and actions before deciding.

  • Checks the logic of their thinking and evaluates if their ideas and viewpoints are believable.

  • Carefully measures their emotions and reactions before expressing them.

These are some of the attributes of leadership included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates uses this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively. It does all begin with knowing yourself.

Managing Stress-Keeping Yourself and the Environment Stable

A few years ago I worked in an environment where a key leader carried a constant load of high stress due to both historical life events and being in an environment where the CEO believed keeping people a bit nervous about their jobs was a useful motivational tool.

The CEO actually managed personal stress well, but her supervision of this leader led to a high level of anxiety and stress whenever staff knew they would have to meet one on one with her.

Ironically, the intent was to keep staff mission-focused, but the fear and decisions she made created unnecessary turnover and high stress

It was very uncomfortable for me, as I was training and trying to help staff be competent and feel confident. I couldn’t succeed as everyone knew the other leader was more directly connected with the CEO. The team was constantly stressed due to the work dynamic.

This leader and the CEO didn’t understand how stress impacts keeping everyone focused on the mission and performing. People under unnecessary stress do not perform optLeaders need to skills to manage their stress in order to do this. Leaders who are unable to manage stress create cultures in which stress is a constant, and in which self-care is not valued, or actually frowned upon.

Managing stress refers to a leader’s ability to deal constructively and effectively with the pressures and challenges that life throws at him or her. It also includes the ability to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

Why is it important? Stress, setbacks, and emergencies are a part of life. Understanding the cause of personal stress and developing effective coping behaviors is critical for leading and living healthily and effectively. A leader with this skill: • Controls personal negative reactions to stress and coaches others to do the same. • Stays positive and learns from mistakes and setbacks and creates a culture in which this is the norm. • Says no to unreasonable work demands and avoids making unreasonable demands of others. • Maintains a healthy work-life balance and encourages it in the culture. • Practices healthy physical and mental activities to remain in balance.

If you have trouble with this skill, then your leadership success and the performance of your organization will suffer. If you want to be a great or even good leader, you need to be skilled in this area.

This is one of the attributes of leadership included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates uses this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively. It does all begin with knowing yourself.

Apprehension-Creating a Comfortable Environment

Have you ever worked for or tried to lead with someone who maintains high levels of apprehension? Perhaps you have had the experience of a paralyzed team because of one or more people who worried. I know I have. I remember situations where stayed stuck because of members who were constantly apprehensive.

Apprehension is the amount of worrying, fretting, strain, and uneasiness leaders take in. It is about the amount to which they beat themselves up over things they cannot control. It is the fear of uncertainty. Successful leaders and managers keep their levels of apprehension low.

Apprehension is also about how leaders identify and respond to issues that could cause them to worry and fret. Good leaders have the ability to see issues and challenges in perspective. They are able to lose too much sleep over things they cannot control.

Why is it important? Too much apprehension and worry disrupt a leader’s effectiveness. Effective leaders and managers keep issues and challenges in perspective. They do not lose too much sleep over things that they cannot control. Their apprehension also affects others in the environment. High levels of apprehension are contagious and spread throughout the team.

Effective leaders also worry little about what others think or say. This is not helpful or productive and it drains one’s physical and emotional energy.

Leaders with low apprehension levels:

  • Handle criticism and challenges without becoming defensive or protective.

  • Stay aware of what others are saying, but, pursue the consistent priorities in line with goals.

  • Focus energy on achieving goals and avoid distractions from things they cannot control.

  • Stay open and honest rather than jumping to being protective or defensive.

If you have trouble with this skill, then your leadership success and the performance of your organization will suffer. If you want to be a great or even good leader, you need to be skilled in this area.

This is one of the attributes of leadership included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates uses this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively. It does all begin with knowing yourself.

Leadership Presence-Do You Have It?

Have you ever tried to follow someone who lacked a sense of authority and direction and needed to fit in with everyone else? Perhaps you have had leaders who shied away from the risks and challenges of leading. It is difficult to follow someone who does not want the responsibilities of leadership and is not inspiring. 

One of the attributes of a strong leader that we usually recognize right away is what we call “leadership presence”. Leadership presence is someones:

  • self-confidence

  • sense of authority

  • appearance of competence

  • ability to enjoy being in charge

These leaders inspire people to follow them and they lead by example. This attribute is important.  People in positions of influence need to own and show a presence of competence and confidence. When other leaders and followers do not see these traits, it can lead to mistrust, fear, frustration, and confusion.

To develop into a strong leader, there are some desired Behaviors. Strong leaders:

  • Possess and show a sense of authority and direction

  • Attract and inspire people to follow them

  • Like the risks and challenges of leading

  • Understand and own the responsibility of leading well

  • Have a way about them that others recognize as leadership

These are all attributes that we can and need to develop if we either want to lead. They are important if we want the kind of success in life that requires being able to lead.

If you have low levels of this skill, then your leadership success will suffer. So will and the performance of any group you lead. If you want to be a great or even good leader, you need to be skilled in this area.

Leadership presence is one of the attributes included in The Lions Leader Manager Assessment. Ray Hoskins and Associates uses this assessment. It helps our clients assess their leadership competencies. We then work with clients to help them identify which changes they can make to lead, and indeed, live more effectively.

Hiring the Right Leadership

I have recently observed the struggles of two nonprofits. While they work in two different service areas, they have similar struggles. Both agencies have hired, for leadership positions, people who lack crucial leadership skills.

In over 20 years of consulting to nonprofits, I find this to be a recurring and all too frequent issue. As a friend of mine is fond of saying, “there are lots of people in leadership positions, but there are few leaders in leadership positions.” That is true in both of these agencies. It is an area in which improvement is relatively simple. Here are some guidelines for nonprofits in addressing this issue.

First, develop a set of standardized interview questions about how people lead. Include how they handle leadership scenarios. Work with your best existing leadership to develop the questions and scenarios. This will make the interview more realistic.

Second, develop a series of leadership-related questions to send to references. The fact that someone is a reliable worker in one situation doesn’t mean they can lead in another.

Third, have final interviews be with a team of existing leaders, who need to have a consensus before you hire.

Finally, use a leadership assessment like those used by Ray Hoskins and Associates. Our behavior and competency-based assessments can help you identify leadership strengths and challenges. Then you can develop custom staff development strategies to develop your best leaders.

So You Want to Have Your Own Company-Learn to Lead First!

We have frequent conversations with people who want to own their own companies.  Younger generations have a high percentage of people for whom this is a dream.

Regardless of the practicality or viability of a business idea, one of the best pieces of advice we can give to aspiring entrepreneurs is to learn to lead first.  We frequently consult to small business owners who are incredibly frustrated with trying to go from being the business to owning a business in which others deliver the services, sell products, and make money for the enterprise in a number of ways.  Most of the time, when we ask them about their preparation for leadership, they look puzzled.

They might have studied their craft, accounting, marketing, sales, and other skills they needed to succeed.  But they were facing difficulties primarily because people didn’t want to work for them.  Sadly, they usually believe the problem was in others, rather in themselves.  Our Leadership Advising helps with accurate assessment and skill development.

We frequently help people start identifying their leadership competencies starting in the ninth grade.  We help educators and youth programs develop basic skills, and work with adults to refine their skills to succeed even at the highest leadership levels.

So, if you ever think you want to be in a leadership position, whether as an entrepreneur or leading in an established organization, let us help you assess and develop the competencies you will need.