Essays

2026

• October 22, 2026

  Stepping Back Is Not the Same as Giving Up

  You are in a waiting room, holding your phone, reading the same message for the third time. It is from someone who needs something from you. Everyone seems to need something from you right now. Part...

• October 12, 2026

  Ten Minutes, One Step Back

  Her phone buzzed with a news alert. A short vibration, a small sound.

• October 11, 2026

  Why Sounding Sure Feels Like Being Right

  Carrie listened to the same talk radio host every day. Same voice. Same easy confidence. After a while it felt less like listening to a stranger and more like having a friend in the room.

• October 4, 2026

  The Farmer Who Was Not Poor

  A Kentucky farmer is not poor by the usual measures, but the gap between what he was promised and what his work actually bought became the ache that made recognition feel like rescue.

• September 17, 2026

  How Would You Have Found Out?

  How Would You Have Found Out?

• September 15, 2026

  The Woman With the Rag in Her Hand

  Mark's coffee shop had a television in the corner that nobody chose and nobody turned off. Most mornings it played the same channel. On the drive over, Pastor Jim's program had already run on the...

• September 15, 2026

  What Loyalty Meant to Me at Nineteen

  In the spring of 1968 I spent my Saturdays knocking on doors in Indiana for Robert Kennedy. I was nineteen. I believed, without much question, that if you were on someone's side, you stayed on their...

• September 10, 2026

  "Did You Check If That's Even True?" — The Question That Stopped Dana Cold

  Did I actually check if this is true, or did I just notice that everyone else seemed sure?

• September 2, 2026

  Confidence Is Not Evidence. Your Brain Keeps Mixing Them Up.

  Was there ever a moment when you trusted someone's confidence more than you checked their facts?

• August 31, 2026

  The First Time Someone in Politics Said Your Name

  When did you first feel like someone in politics actually saw you, and what were you afraid of losing right then?

• August 28, 2026

  Sarah Had a Master's Degree. That Was Never the Point.

  Sarah lives in a Phoenix suburb with a lawn she keeps green and a master's degree hanging in the hallway. She ran marketing for a company that changed hands twice. She is not gullible. She has never...

• August 20, 2026

  The Bee That Cannot Survive Alone (And Neither Can You)

  I keep bees. Out behind the house, in Indiana, where the light goes gold around seven in the evening and the whole yard hums.

• August 19, 2026

  The Question I Was Afraid to Ask Out Loud

  I do my thinking on foot. There is a stretch of road near my house in Indiana where the corn gets tall enough by August that you cannot see past it, and I walk it most mornings with a song stuck in...

• June 30, 2026

  When Confidence Stopped Sounding Like Truth

  Carrie had a routine. Every morning, the same radio host, the same voice filling the kitchen while the coffee brewed. For years he was the steady presence in her day. He was sure about everything,...

• June 29, 2026

  Confidence Is Not Evidence

• June 22, 2026

  "Take Our Country Back" Didn't Sound Like Hatred. That's the Point.

  Sarah had a master's degree and a career in marketing. She lived in suburban Phoenix. By any reasonable measure, her life was successful.

• June 22, 2026

  What Are You Running On?

• June 18, 2026

  The Man Who Hid in the Bathroom

  He had coached his kids' baseball team for years. Through bad calls, losing streaks, kids crying in the dugout. He never raised his voice. Mike was the steady one — in his family, in his...

• June 15, 2026

  When Coping Isn't Enough

  Daniel had done everything right.

• June 10, 2026

  Your Feelings Aren’t the Problem. They’re the Data.

• June 9, 2026

  They’re Flooding You on Purpose

  There’s a moment a lot of people have described to me — and you might recognize it.

• June 3, 2026

  Your Nervous System Isn't Broken. It's Doing Its Job.

  —

• May 29, 2026

  There Is a Fire. You Just Can’t See It.

  Terrence was a contractor. Practical man. The kind of guy who coached his kids’ baseball team for twelve years without once yelling at an umpire. People around him would have called him steady.

• May 27, 2026

  What a Seven-Year-Old Saw That We Couldn't

  Carl had been defending his political choices for years. At the dinner table. In the truck with his son. Online when someone pushed back.

• May 20, 2026

  There Is a Fire: What Your Body Knows That Your Brain Is Trying to Deny

• May 18, 2026

  When Purpose Isn't Enough

• May 14, 2026

  Your Feelings Aren't the Problem

• February 16, 2026

  You’re Not Crazy—You’re Waking Up

  Something doesn’t feel right.

• February 12, 2026

  When Loyalty Replaces Thinking

  There’s a moment in every high-control environment—whether it’s a political movement, a religious group, a company, or a family system—when the rules quietly shift.

• February 2, 2026

  When Loyalty Replaces Critical Thought

  There’s a moment in every high-control environment—whether it’s a political movement, a religious group, a company, or a family system—when the rules quietly shift.

• January 30, 2026

  The Drift You Don't Notice

  Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to abandon everything they believe in.

2025

• October 30, 2025

  Why I Wrote Reversing the Drift

  For over thirty years, I've worked as a counselor and coach, helping people navigate life's challenges, clarify their values, and become the people they want to be. I've sat with people in crisis, in...

• May 22, 2025

  Angry and Overwhelmed

  I am so damned angry today. The Republicans just voted to harm millions of people. Raised taxes on the lowest income people. Drastically cut taxes for the wealthiest. Cut Medicaid and Medicare, which...

• March 19, 2025

  People of the Lie: An Exploration of Evil

  Several years ago, M. Scott Peck wrote a book entitled People of the Lie. In the book, he addressed the idea that many of us are uncomfortable with believing that evil exists, especially in our...

2023

• May 3, 2023

  Questions for Senior Citizens

  I have received great feedback on my posts outlining the developmental tasks for those over 50. We seniors are too often treated in similar ways as children in our culture. The needs for inclusion,...

• April 12, 2023

  NLP Logical Level Model

  One of the models I use frequently in my coaching work is Logical Levels. Using this model as a reference helps myself and clients clarify where they are in a change process and make better decisions...

• March 30, 2023

  The Aligned Self

  One of the favorite models I have trained in and currently use with my clients is The Aligned Self, developed and trained by Connirae and Tamara Andreas.

• March 29, 2023

  Things are So Different

  I have spent all of my adult life being a counselor, then a coach and consultant In total, I have served others in one of these capacities for over 50 years. So, since early 1973 I have had a role of...

• March 20, 2023

  Generative Coaching

  I like to help people thrive. If I had my way, we would all have positive, connected lives with great meaning, joy and purpose. I know a few people who achieve this, and I believe it has become more...

• February 27, 2023

  Integrity Versus Despair

  I have had quite a few conversations in the past few months with people over fifty who talk about struggling with depression, reviewing their lives, and doing some rethinking of many of their beliefs.

• January 9, 2023

  Understanding Your Motivational Direction

  Understanding Your Motivational Direction

2022

• February 17, 2022

  Identifying and Changing Patterns

  The best coaching approaches are about finding and expressing purpose, creating the life you want, and living meaningful lives. While practical problem solution coaching also happens, it tends to be...

• February 15, 2022

  About Work and Living

  The "Great Resignation" has shaken up the way our economy is working. Given this, it is useful to think of the ways we in the United States have described work. Specifically, how we have described...

2019

• May 6, 2019

  Apprehension-Creating a Comfortable Environment

  Have you ever worked for or tried to lead with someone who maintains high levels of apprehension? Perhaps you have had the experience of a paralyzed team because of one or more people who worried. I...

• May 6, 2019

  Hiring the Right Leadership

  I have recently observed the struggles of two nonprofits. While they work in two different service areas, they have similar struggles. Both agencies have hired, for leadership positions, people who...

• May 6, 2019

  Leadership Assessment and Advising

  Ray Hoskins and Assessments is now a Channel Partner with The Lions Lead. Through this partnership, we offer a wide range of competency-based assessments that help organizations and individuals...

• May 6, 2019

  Leadership Presence-Do You Have It?

  Have you ever tried to follow someone who lacked a sense of authority and direction and needed to fit in with everyone else? Perhaps you have had leaders who shied away from the risks and challenges...

• May 6, 2019

  Managing Stress-Keeping Yourself and the Environment Stable

  A few years ago I worked in an environment where a key leader carried a constant load of high stress due to both historical life events and being in an environment where the CEO believed keeping...

• May 6, 2019

  Managing Your Emotions-Another Critical Leadership Competency

  While Self Awareness is the most important competency for leaders, Managing Emotions is a close second. Many of us have worked in situations where one or more of the key leaders were poor at managing...

• May 6, 2019

  Operating Like a Business, Versus Using Good Business Principles

  I have worked in and around nonprofit organizations for over 40 years. During this time I have learned that Boards of Directors and leadership of nonprofit organizations have many challenges, and...

• May 6, 2019

  Rational Leadership

  My last two articles were about Self-Awareness and Managing emotions. These are both critical attributes of strong leaders. This article address Rationality, another critical attribute. Rationality...

• May 6, 2019

  Self-Awareness-Where Leading Begins

  There are many cultural expressions of the importance of Self-Awareness. Statements such as Know Thyself and To Thine Own Self Be True have been around for centuries. Most of us have been exposed to...

• May 6, 2019

  So You Got That Promotion, Now What?

  Some of us really want to be leaders. We work hard in our positions, hoping to be noticed as stellar performers in our area of work so we can be promoted. When the opportunity comes, we apply for...

• May 6, 2019

  So You Want to Have Your Own Company-Learn to Lead First!

  We have frequent conversations with people who want to own their own companies. Younger generations have a high percentage of people for whom this is a dream.